Ode to the Bookstore: Where a Story of Life Comes Full Circle
5/1/25 Note: Barnes & Noble just announced they will open 60 new stores this year! So I am resurfacing this essay I wrote in 2006 (yes), a Bethesda Literary Award winner. There is something oddly comforting (and a little validating) about the book shops and before digital everything — especially for Gen Xers.
I consider the Bethesda Barnes & Noble a kind of confidante, fortune teller and old friend. I’ve found myself here before or after almost every life-changing event.
As an eager college graduate arriving in Washington full of career ambitions in the tight ’93 job market, I frantically sought job-seeking help in the Barnes & Noble “Careers” section. I attended author talks on resume-writing and read “What Color is Your Parachute,” trying to define my “grown-up” life.
I got engaged on a warm June afternoon. Full of excitement, I rushed to Barnes & Noble to stock up on wedding planning books and honeymoon destinations. I dreamt of a new life over an iced vanilla latte in the café. A few months later, I wandered back for a book on how to make marriage last.
I returned when I suspected I was pregnant and bought books on everything from baby names to parenting techniques. I snuck back after losing that pregnancy, seeking solace from pages where others wrote about loss and trying again. Three months later, I merrily marched back, pregnant again and feeling optimistic. I bought books to help me eat right, stay fit, survive labor, and get my groove back.
I was a new mom. I needed more information. I came back. I found help surviving sleepless nights and solutions in “Happiest Baby on the Block.” I drank more lattes to survive late-night feedings. Desperately trying to balance work and motherhood, I was back at that Careers section. I read “I Don’t Know How She Does It” and studied “Secrets of Stay-at-Work Moms,” but I couldn’t make it work. I left my beloved job at AOL for the stay-at-home mom world.
Six months later, I was losing my mind staying home, so I wandered back to the store with my son in tow. Books on “starting your own business” caught my eye and I contemplated doing gift baskets, writing, jewelry making. A week later, armed with a wireless connection, I spent summer days “working” as a freelance writer in the Barnes & Noble café.
Sadly, soon after, I returned to read through the turmoil of losing a second pregnancy. Little did I know, I’d soon have my own happy ending. Less than a year later, I was back, browsing colic survival guides for Zack, my new baby boy!
At Barnes & Noble today, my two little boys run through the children’s section, searching for Thomas the Train books and waiting for story time. For me, fifteen years worth of visits here emerge like a snapshot of the milestones of my life. Visits make me remember what I’ve lost and what I’ve found.
Now, I wander through the aisles as a Writer, dreaming of a book not for me, but by me, appearing on the shelf. It’s a story I can create, and I know just where I’ll do it — at the Barnes & Noble café!
